Last updated 10:01pm Friday 27 March 2026 AEDT

Paul J. Berating

Australian Politics, Unfiltered. Sardonic Commentary Inspired By Australia's Greatest PM 🤬🇦🇺


Today's Top Stories

Cyclone shuts Australia's biggest LNG plants as global gas supply tightens

Cyclone Narelle has knocked two major Western Australian LNG facilities offline, compounding global natural gas supply disruptions already worsened by the Iran conflict.

Nature shuts down two gas plants and the market panics — which tells you everything about a supply chain built on the assumption that nothing ever goes wrong in the same week. We export enough LNG to heat half of Asia but hold so little strategic reserve that a single cyclone exposes the architecture. Fifty years of energy policy and our resilience plan is still 'hope the weather behaves.'

The budget hawks discover sovereignty requires a budget

The AFR argues Australia's fuel vulnerability demands fiscal discipline and an end to spending on uncompetitive industries — while offering no coherent account of how sovereignty gets built without public investment.

The AFR discovers sovereign capability the way a man discovers exercise after a heart attack — with great urgency and no memory of the decades spent on the couch. 'Rein in profligate spending,' they say, having cheerled every tax cut that hollowed out the fiscal capacity to build anything strategic in the first place. The editorial page wants a muscular state that costs nothing — which is not sovereignty, it's a wish upon a star wearing a green eyeshade.

AUKUS: The Subscription Service Where Australia Pays Full Price and Waits in the Queue

Retired Rear Admiral warns AUKUS submarine program is a 'wasteful folly' headed for failure, urging Australia to abandon the plan before costs spiral further.

When a retired rear admiral calls your centrepiece defence policy a train smash, the polite response is not to check his ticket — it's to check the tracks. AUKUS was sold as strategic sovereignty but built as a subscription service: we pay American prices for submarines that arrive on American schedules to serve American priorities. The only thing nuclear about this program is the half-life of the money we're burning.

Both Sides of the Bowser: One Wants to Subsidise Dependency, the Other Wants to Study It

Albanese rejects the Coalition's call to cut fuel excise ahead of national cabinet, citing COVID-era lessons about consultation — while neither side addresses Australia's structural fuel vulnerability.

The Coalition demands a fuel excise cut it once treated as a temporary wartime measure, and Albanese counters by invoking COVID — the political equivalent of citing your divorce as evidence you understand marriage. 'Better decisions come from taking time' is what every government says when it has no decision to make. One side wants to subsidise the problem; the other wants to workshop it. Neither has noticed the car's been running on fumes since 1973.

The gallery wants a hero. The country needs a fuel reserve.

Albanese faces pressure over the fuel crisis, with commentators framing it as a leadership-defining moment — though the structural vulnerability predates his government by decades.

The press gallery has one play left: declare every crisis a PM's 'defining moment' and watch him either seize it or fumble. But the fuel shortage isn't a test of character — it's the invoice for thirty years of strategic negligence by both sides, arriving at a door Albanese happens to be standing behind. Calling it his 'COVID moment' flatters both the crisis and the response: COVID required improvisation, this one required foresight we never bothered having.

Healthiest Patient in the Ward: Australia's Growth Comes With a Temperature

The OECD projects Australia among the world's fastest-growing economies this year, but persistent inflation threatens to keep the Reserve Bank from cutting rates, tempering the good news.

Being the fastest-growing economy in a war-battered world is like winning a foot race in a hospital ward — technically impressive, entirely contextual. The OECD hands us a gold star while the Reserve Bank sharpens the interest rate knife, which is the economic equivalent of being told you're the healthiest patient in intensive care. Growth with inflation isn't prosperity — it's a fever the government's mistaking for a healthy glow.

National cabinet called twice in a fortnight because once wasn't enough

Albanese convenes a second emergency national cabinet as the Iran war's disruption to fuel supply chains forces states into crisis coordination mode, with the AFR reporting the government has resolved to be more transparent about the severity of the situation.

The second emergency meeting is the political equivalent of ringing the fire brigade twice — it means the first truck didn't bring enough hose. National cabinet was designed for crises nobody saw coming, not for the entirely predictable consequence of running a continent on imported fuel with no strategic reserve worth the name. They're not coordinating a response. They're coordinating the discovery that there isn't one.

Labor splits the difference and calls it a wage policy

The Albanese government has submitted a real-wage increase to the Fair Work Commission for millions of workers, positioning itself between the ACTU's larger claim and employer resistance.

Labor asks for a wage rise big enough to claim credit but small enough to avoid blame — the Goldilocks school of industrial relations, where the porridge is always someone else's problem. The ACTU wanted more; business wanted less; the government split the difference and called it courage. A real-wage increase 'despite inflation fears' is how you describe a bloke crossing the road despite traffic — technically brave, mostly just necessary.

Government discovers wages and prices are connected, promises to think about it

The Albanese government says it wants to balance wage rises for low-paid workers against inflation pressures, a framing that treats decades of structural wage stagnation as a scheduling problem.

The government says it wants wages to rise but not prices — the economic equivalent of wanting rain but not wet roads. This isn't a dilemma; it's the inevitable result of thirty years of wage suppression followed by a cost-of-living crisis nobody in Canberra planned for because planning requires admitting the model was broken. 'Striking a balance' is what you say when you've decided to do nothing and want it to sound deliberate.