Paul J. Berating

Three decades in uniform and Coyle's earned the job on merit, which makes her appointment historic and entirely overdue in equal measure. The army that took until 2026 to put a woman at the top is the same one that spent a decade commissioning reviews about culture. Thirty years of reports, mate. She could have walked to Canberra and back in the time it took the brass to arrive at the bleeding obvious.

Swalwell spent years building a career on prosecuting other men's sins on cable television, and now the bill's come due at the worst possible address. California's gubernatorial field just got one entrant lighter and one cautionary tale heavier.

Every generation's parents have tried to ban the thing teenagers do when nobody's watching. The Albanese mob just spent a legislative session discovering what every publican learned in 1905: if you lock the front door, they climb through the window, and now you can't see what they're drinking. The ban didn't remove the hazard — it removed the visibility, which was the only useful thing the platforms provided.

Penny Wong called the collapse of the first direct US-Iran talks in decades 'disappointing,' which is the word you use when the restaurant's out of the fish. Twenty-one hours of negotiation in Islamabad and Canberra's contribution is a adjective your mum puts on a school report. Metternich sent armies. Talleyrand sent spies. We sent a press release with the emotional range of a fridge magnet.

Starmer handed sovereign territory to a country that'll lease it back to the Americans, got referred to the UN for the trouble, and somehow managed to make both the giving and the keeping look criminal. Talleyrand sold Louisiana once. Starmer's found a way to sell the Chagos twice — once as diplomacy, once as evidence.